Communal living

Challenges

• Late-night socialising: loud conversations, music, or gatherings which disturb study or sleep
• Roommate conversations: talking on the phone or casual chats in shared spaces
• Music and audio: loud music, musical instruments, or movies played without headphones
• Cooking noise: clattering dishes and loud kitchen appliances
• Footsteps and movement: stomping, running, noisy footsteps in the hallways, or using exercise equipment in your room
• Early-morning noise: disturbing others with morning routines or early wakeups
• Cleaning: vacuuming or sweeping at inconvenient times

Solutions

• Follow the quiet hours: Please remember that quiet hours are in place between midnight and 8am. During the main exam period, which start on 24 April and ends on 7 June, quiet hours are observed between 5pm and 9am during the week, and 24 hours a day at weekends. Please be respectful to your flatmates and be mindful of your behaviour so that everyone gets the sleep they need and time to study
• Talk to the noisy neighbour: if someone is making too much noise, politely let them know. They may not realise they're being disruptive. Use "I" statements like, "I'm having trouble sleeping because of the noise."
• Use earplugs or white noise: For minor disturbances, using earplugs or a white noise machine can help
• Who can help? If noise continues and talking doesn't help, please contact Colchester Security Services or Southend Security Services at the time the noise is happening, and the team will attend to help you resolve the problem, as well as report anyone in breach of the Code of Conduct or Terms and Conditions of Residence. Should the noise continue then you can contact Accommodation Essex via the Hub, who will write to the flat/person involved. Should the behaviour still continue, we recommend reporting the student to Student Conduct or request to transfer to a vacant room. 

Example conversation - scenario 1

It's 8pm, and your flatmate's loud music is making it hard for you to rest before an early morning start. Though quiet hours start at midnight, it's fair to expect noise to stay within your room. 

Start by knocking on their door and politely explaining the issue: " I have an early start tomorrow, and the music is making it hard for me to sleep. Would you mind turning it down, please?" Providing context helps them understand your perspective.

Avoid retaliation like "revenge noise" or leaving passive-aggressive notes - this can escalate conflicts. A respectful conversation builds understanding, and strengthens your flat's sense of community. 

If noise continues, report disturbances to Security, who can log incidents, and address repeat behaviour. You can also contact Accommodation via the Hub, and ask for help, should it continue even after Security have visited, and we can write to those involved. Remember, as a last resort you can also report the student for misconduct to Student Conduct. 

Example conversation - scenario 2

You love your room and having the window open, but the early morning and late night chatter on the footpath nearby can be annoying. Closing the window can help, of course but it's not a long term solution.

Unfortunately, casual chatter of people passing is not considered a disturbance, only if they congregate near windows, so Security will not intervene, so do consider wearing ear plugs as a temporary fix. However, should the noise be too disturbing for you, as you like to sleep in or go to bed early, then do consider requesting a room transfer. Visit our transfer to vacant room web page for more information.

Challenges

Share food often leads to "borrowed" food, which can be frustrating. Here are some of the challenges involved in that:

• Unlabelled items - food left unlabelled in the fridge or freezer, can lead to confusion and accidental consumption
• Leftovers disappearing - you have some lasagne left over, but someone has taken it
• Food hoarding - students using more than their fair share of space in fridges, freezers or cupboards
• Misunderstanding "shared" food - different expectations on what is considered shared food, such as ketchup or mayonnaise
• Food waste - people leaving food that has gone out of date, using up space, and creating unnecessary food waste and bad smells

Solutions

• Label your food: Clearly label your food items. This often discourages accidental or intentional taking
• Create a shared food plan: If you and your roommates agree, buy certain food items communally (like butter, milk or bread) to reduce tension over small thefts
• Talk directly and respectfully: If food keeps going missing, have a friendly discussion with your flatmates. Again, use non-confrontational language: " I noticed my food is sometimes missing, and I was wondering if we could come up with a solution."
• Who can help? Committing theft with the University and University own or administered accommodation, is a breach of the Code of Student Conduct, so contact Accommodation Essex via the Hub, who can write to the student in the first instance. However, if this does not work, you should report the incident by completing an incident report form. You can also report via ' Report + Support' including anonymously. 

Scenario 1

You return from lectures excited to cook with special ingredients you brought, only to find them missing. It is frustrating, however, try to avoid passive-aggressive messages or accusations - they escalate conflict.

Start by asking your flatmates if the food was moved for fridge space. If so, make it clear that your items shouldn't be moved without permission. Label your food and consider dividing fridge shelves to avoid confusion. 

If theft is suspected, request the item be replaced. Remember, food theft is often need-based. Remind your flatmates that the University do provide financial support. If it continues, report this to Accommodation Essex via the Hub, who can write to the student involved.

If the theft leaves you struggling, contact Security or Student Wellbeing for immediate help. You can also apply for assistance through the Hardship Fund.

Challenges

• Dirty dishes: piles of unwashed dishes left in the sink or on counters for long periods of time
• Unwiped surfaces: spills, crumbs, and grease left on countertops, stoves, ovens, and fridges
• Cluttered shared spaces: personal items, plates, pots, pans, and rubbish left on countertops and tables
• Full bins: overflowing bins with too much rubbish
• Dirty floors: food, spillages, and rubbish left on the floor, attracting pests, leaving stains, causing bad smells

Solutions

• Set a cleaning rota (schedule): making a rotating cleaning schedule for tasks, like taking out excess rubbish, cleaning shared bathrooms, and washing dishes. Make sure it is posted in a visible spot in the kitchen
• Lead by example: if you keep your area clean, others may follow suit. Sometimes, being the change can inspire others to act
• Set clear expectations: Arrange a flat meeting, and set expectations at the start for things such as cleanliness (e.g., washing dishes within 24 hours)

Scenario 1

You've always washed dishes right after meals meals, but your flatmates seem to have a different approach - leaving dirty plates in the sink or on counters for days. This can be frustrating but addressing it calmly and constructively is key. 

Avoid leaving angry notes in the kitchen or calling your flatmates "dirty" in the group chat. Everyone has their own idea of what's "normal", and while your standard may be immediate clean up, others might not prioritize it the same way. Open communication can help bridge this gap. 

Start a friendly conversation. Suggest setting shared guidelines, such as washing dishes within a specific timeframe (e.g., within 24 hours). You could also agree on a designated spot for unwashed dishes to keep the sink clear. Establishing a polite system for reminders, like a note by the sink, can also help. 

It is important to respect your flatmates' habits while advocating for a clean space. Never move dishes to someone's door - this is a serious safety risk and could cause accidents during emergencies. 

By focusing on compromise and mutual respect, you can create a more harmonious and hygienic kitchen environment for everyone. 

Should the behaviour continue, even after you have tried to resolve it, you can report this to Accommodation Essex via the Hub, who can write to the student involved.

Challenges 

• Cultural challenges: You might live with people from different backgrounds, with different habits, and opinions, leading to potential misunderstandings or conflicts. 
• Different noise tolerances: Varying preferences for quiet vs. socializing, leading to noise clashes. 
• Conflicting mealtimes: Different eating habits or mealtimes, causing disruptions in shared kitchens.
• Food preferences and sensitivities: Dietary restrictions or food smells causing discomfort or misunderstandings. 
• Cleaning standards: Different expectations for cleanliness, such as how tidy or organised shared spaces should be. 
• Personal space boundaries: Varying ideas about privacy and the need for personal space. 
• Communication styles: Direct vs. indirect communication can lead to misunderstandings or conflict. 
• Socialising habits: Some may prefer large gatherings, while others need quiet time or personal space. 
• Time management and schedules: Conflicting study routines, sleep habits, or socialising hours. 
• Expectation around shared responsibilities: Different views on fairness in sharing chores or space. 
• Cultural norms around respect: Different ideas of respect, such as knocking before entering a room or waiting for others to finish before starting an activity. 

Solutions

• Embrace diversity: Appreciate that everyone comes from different cultures, traditions, and backgrounds. This is an opportunity to learn from others. 
• Be open to conversation: If someone's habits or cultural practices differ from yours, ask questions rather than making assumptions. 
• Respect boundaries: Understand that not everyone will be your best friend, and some people prefer personal space. Be respectful of their preferences. 
• Set boundaries for yourself: If something makes your uncomfortable, be clear but polite in setting boundaries. Please respect your flatmates' boundaries and communicate clearly that you expect the same from them. For example, "I prefer if we don't use each other's things without asking.".
• Who can help?
  The University has a zero tolerance approach to any time of unwelcome behaviour such as harassment and bullying. You can report something anonymously and receive wellbeing support via 'Report+Support'.

Scenario 1

Living with others in a shared university accommodation can be exciting but challenging. 

Sam, a night owl who enjoys gaming late, shares a flat with Maya, an early riser who values a quiet morning routine. Meanwhile, Aisha and Daniel often clash over cleaning standards, and Sophia feels isolated due to language and cultural differences. The tension is palpable, and everyone feels frustrated. 

Each flatmate comes from a unique background with different habits, traditions, and preferences. Take time to learn about one another's cultures, routines, and values. 

• Maya could ask Sam about their gaming setup, while Sam might join Maya for a morning coffee to understand her routine. 
• Organise a cultural night where each person shares a dish or story from their background. It's a fun way to bond and break down barriers. 
• Discuss expectations for shared areas, like the kitchen and bathroom, during the first flat meeting. 
• Hold casual flat meetings every few weeks to discuss issues and solutions before conflicts escalate. 
• Listen to each other's concerns without interrupting. Use "I" statements to express feelings without assigning blame. 
• Thank flatmates when they respect boundaries or go out of their way to be considerate. 

By fostering open communication, respecting boundaries, and celebrating diversity, living in shared accommodation can become a rewarding experience that teaches life-long skills.

Living in a shared accommodation requires mutual respect. Here's how to make sure you're a positive part of the community:

Be considerate of noise:

• Keep noise levels low, especially late at night. Use headphones if you enjoy listening to music or watching TV late. 
• What your neighbours can expect: Not to be affected by excessive and unnecessary noise. To enjoy an undisturbed sleep on a regular basis. 
• Time: Noise made during the evening and night-time is more likely to affect your neighbours and flatmates. It is you who must take care if your lifestyle means you are likely to be making more noise during these times. 
• Duration: A noise that lasts a long time (such as a muffled bass beat) may be more of a problem than one of greater volume that is only short-lived. 

Share and respect common spaces: 

• Keep communal areas clean and tidy. Don't leave personal items lying around the kitchen or living areas. 
• Divide the cupboard space up between the amount of people you are sharing with and stick to your own space throughout the year. The same thing should be done with shelves in the fridge. 
• If you want to make common areas feel more homely, why not decorate communal areas for Halloween or Christmas? It's also a great bonding activity. 
• Consider setting up a cleaning rota so that everyone takes their turn with the chores. 

Be friendly but respectful of privacy: 

• Greet your neighbours and flatmates with a smile, but don't force friendships. Some people prefer a more private experience. 
• Try to establish boundaries early on. Respecting the boundaries of others and communicating your own is an essential part of communal living. A group chat on Snapchat or WhatsApp can be a great way to do this. 
• Your bedroom is your personal space, and you should keep anything important or significant to you in there. Your flatmates should not enter your bedroom without your permission, and it is good etiquette to knock before entering another person's bedroom too. 

If you feel that your personal boundaries are being compromised negatively, remember you can report something anonymously and receive wellbeing support via 'Report+Support'.

Handle conflicts calmly:

• If conflicts arise, address them early and in a calm manner. Avoid passive-aggressive behaviour like leaving angry notes. 

Good communication is key to resolving conflicts and maintaining a peaceful shared space. 

Have regular house meetings:

• Organise regular (e.g. monthly) flat meetings to discuss any issues that come up. It's easier to address concerns early rather than letting them fester.

Use "I" statements:

• When discussing problems, avoid blaming others. Instead, use "I" statements, like, "I feel frustrated when dishes are left in the sink."

Listen actively:

• When others raise concerns, listen fully before responding. Make sure to understand their perspective before defending your actions.

Be clear and direct:

• If you have an issue, communicate directly with the person involved instead of discussing it with others behind their back. 

Practice empathy:

• Try to see situations from your flatmates' point of view. Understanding their challenges can help you find a solution that works for everyone.

Key skills for effective communication with your flatmates:

• Communication
• Compromise 
• Listen
• Be Honest
• Be Respectful
• Establish Boundaries
• Manage Expectations
• Show Appreciation
• Patience

It's inevitable that conflicts will arise in shared spaces. Disagreements are normal when living with other people. We're all different and come with our own set of expectations of what it means to share a living space. If something is bothering you, be clear and open with your flatmates. You should also allow them to do the same with you. Working through things together will make for a much nicer living environment. Here's how to resolve them:

1. Address issues early:

• Don't wait for things to build up. Tackle problems as soon as they arise. 
• Pick your battles carefully. Everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect. Ask yourself whether bringing up the subject could be perceived as being too extreme or too reactionary. 

2. Stay calm:

• Approach disagreements calmly and rationally, rather than when emotions are running high. 
• Embrace opportunities for a change in attitude. Different situations may require you to modify your thinking. Cultivate empathy and respect for different views. Learn how to compromise and resolve conflicts together. 

3. Focus on solutions:

• Try to focus on solving the issue rather than just pointing out what's wrong. For example, "Let's agree on a system for cleaning the bathroom" is more constructive than "You never clean the bathroom."
• Get creative with your efforts to achieve dialogue. Invite your roommates out for pizza or consider using a whiteboard for short messages. 

4. Who can help?

• In some cases, a conflict may linger even with direct communication. Knowing when to get help with conflict can help you to avoid turning small disagreements into something more significant. 
• If you can't resolve the issue on your own, please reach out to the Accommodation team. If you are the victim of, or witness to, an incident that you feel is a breach of the Code of Student Conduct, please contact our Conduct team. 

Challenges

• People have different levels of comfort when it comes to personal space, sharing items, or certain behaviours. 

Solutions

• Knock before entering: Always knock before entering someone's room, even if the door is open. Please respect your flatmates' personal space and privacy. Knocking is a polite way to announce your arrival / seeking permission before entering someone's living space as the person may be busy or may not wish to be interrupted.
• Ask before borrowing: Whether it's food, toiletries, or clothes, always ask before borrowing someone else's belongings. It's a simple courtesy that keeps everyone happy. There's no need to feel guilty or embarrassed about asking to borrow something. After all, sharing is caring. 
• Understand boundaries: We are all different and live differently, so what is acceptable to one person may not be acceptable to another. For example, some people may not want to share certain things or have visitors over late at night. It is good to have a discussion early on to establish everyone's boundaries. Communication on boundaries is essential on creating a stress-free living environment. Please respect your flatmates' boundaries and ask them to do the same for you. 

What can help?

It is important to get to know your flatmates and work together to decide on how best to live in the same flat and share communal spaces. Therefore, we encourage you as a group to complete a flat agreement, which can be reviewed and updated throughout the academic year. 

It is important to know what to do and who to contact in case of an emergency (like a fire or a medical issue).

Know the exits:

• Familiarise yourself with emergency exits and evacuation procedures. Follow the green running figure and arrow signs to shortest exit route. Emergency lighting is in place over final exits and larger escape routes. If your escape route is blocked turn around and follow signs in another direction. 

Save important numbers:

Add the phone numbers for your residence and / or campus to your mobile phone, so you have them to hand. 

Emergency contacts at Colchester Campus 

The Towers, The Houses, South Courts and Wolfson Court 

Emergencies

 1. Telephone 2222 from an emergency phone or StudentCom, or 01206 872222 from a mobile phone. 

2. Ask for the required service - first aid, ambulance, security - and give your location. Do not call 999 yourself. Patrol Officers, who are first aiders, are available 24 hours. They will access the situation and arrange attendance of emergency services where required. 

Non-emergencies

Telephone the Information Centre on 2125 from StudentCom or 01206 872125 from a mobile phone. 

The Copse, The Meadows and The Quays

For both emergencies and non-emergencies 

1. Telephone 224 3866 from an emergency phone or StudentCom, or 07460 373172 from a mobile

2. Ask for the required service - first aid, ambulance, or security support - and give your location.

There is 24-hour security available. 

Do not call 999 yourself. Security staff are trained first aiders. They will access the situation and arrange attendance of emergency services where required. 

The Pastures

The Pastures Security team are available to help you 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, at The Pastures area of campus. If an incident happens, even if not inside the accommodation, contact Security on:

1. Telephone from a mobile 07385 935610

2. Ask for security support and give your location

Emergency contacts at Southend Campus

For both emergencies and non emergencies:

• Telephone University Square reception on 01702 328408 or 07920821678
• Ask for the required service - first aid, ambulance, etc - and give your location

Report safety issues:

• If you notice any safety hazards, such as a broken lock or non-functioning fire alarm, report it to accommodation management immediately. 

Who can help?

The Security team at Colchester and Southend are on site 24/7 and always ready to assist in an emergency. All Security staff are first aiders as well. 

• Be Adaptable: Living with others requires compromise and flexibility. Not everything will go your way, and that's okay.
• Stay Positive: Try to stay optimistic and open-minded. Living in a shared space can be challenging but also rewarding when approached with the right attitude. 
• Build Relationships: While you may not be close with all of your flatmates, building friendly relationships can make the living experience smoother and more enjoyable. 

By following this guide and maintaining open communication, mutual respect, and tolerance, your experience living in campus accommodation can be a positive and an enriching one!

Having a guest to stay

You can start having a guest to stay, two weeks after your contract has started for occasional stays of up to three nights duration. Due to Health and Safety reasons, you are required to let the us know on each occasion, who you have staying with you, so please contact the Student Services Hub, with their details and length of stay.

If you want your guest to stay for more than 3 nights (maximum of 7 nights), then you are required to request permission by contacting the Student Services Hub. 

Please let the team know the name of the person staying overnight, as well as their contact details and how long they will be staying (children under 16 are not permitted to stay overnight in our accommodation). 

Should your request be at short notice, please also let your area accommodation office know, as the Student Services Hub may not have had enough time to inform them about your guest. 

If you live in a designated single gender flat, you are not permitted to have guests of the opposite gender visit or stay overnight.

Please remember, that you are responsible for the behaviour of your guests.

Additional beds are available upon request for main campus in Colchester (South Courts, The Towers, The Houses, and Wolfson Court) and University Square in Southend. Please contact the Student Services Hub for this request.